Breton: EU Laws Would've Prevented America's Tragic History


Brussels digi-tsar Thierry Breton insists new rules would have stopped the Capitol Hill insurrection, Trump's rise to the presidency, the 1814 burning of the White House by the British and the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.


Breton's policy-baby, the Digital Services Act, is now creeping through the legislative pipeline and the Frenchman has not wasted a chance to use current events to tout the promised perks of the new set of rules.


According to the internal market Commissioner, the DSA's laws would have struck down Donald Trump's violence-inciting modus operandi well before the assault on Capitol Hill happened.


The rules would also have prevented the British from laying waste to Washington in 1814 - the only time a foreign power has taken control of the US capital. Breton proclaimed that "this logic is clear for all to see".


"I would also point out that Martin Scorsese's disappointing Gangs of New York would certainly not have been permitted by the DSA," Breton added, cryptically refusing to elaborate on how he arrived at that conclusion.


Le Chou understands that Breton is now working on his latest Sci-Fi novel, which is described as 'an homage to the cinematic vision outlined by Christopher Nolan's Tenet' but "far more elaborate and complicated".