Gang Of Rowdy EU Officials Tries To Intimidate AstraZeneca

Thierry Breton's gang of euro-toughs aims to create a 'seedy element' at pharma HQ

The EU has lost patience with pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca, which will reportedly fail to deliver the shipment of vaccines Brussels ordered. Some EU Commissioners have taken matters into their own hands and started loitering outside the firm's HQ.


French official Thierry Breton - the bloc's newly anointed vaccine tsar - piled into a van with colleagues Frans Timmermans, Virginijus Sinkevicius, Paolo Gentiloni, Valdis Dombrovskis and Josep Borrell to rough up some of AstraZeneca's top executives.


"They think they can mess with us? THEY THINK THEY CAN MESS WITH US?" Dombrovskis was heard shouting as the van took off towards the firm's Belgian factory.


The idea was the brainchild of Gentiloni. By hanging outside the HQ and creating a "seedy element", the Commissioner thinks that it will cost AstraZeneca customers and force the firm to start delivering its jabs.


However, the plan has not gone quite as foreseen, as AstraZeneca employees are actually enjoying the company of the euro-gang, which regularly breaks into song between adorable attempts to intimidate executives.


Breton insisted the Commissioners are a force to be reckoned with and should not be mocked, before the group broke into an a cappella rendition of Daft Punk's 'Get Lucky'.