EU Leaders Devise Ingenious Virus-Busting Precautions Ahead Of Summit

Europe's prime ministers and presidents descended on Brussels equipped with plastic bubbles and hazmat suits this week, as paranoid leaders panicked about the prospect of contracting COVID-19 during a Council summit.

Germany's Angela Merkel and France's Emmanuel Macron were seen being rolled towards the meeting room, but came a cropper when it turned out that the doorways were too narrow for their bubbles.

Aides lubricated the entrance-way before forcing the leaders' spheres into the room. Sources say that Merkel was seen rolling over Greece's prime minister before coming to a halt in a corner near a puzzled Ursula von der Leyen.

Sources say that hapless Council President Charles Michel caused widespread panic when he tripped over a stray computer chord, bursting Macron's bubble with a biro he was carrying in his hand.

Bodyguards were quick to neutralise Michel and Macron was squirrelled away by over-zealous aides.