Bavaria's Manfred Weber will host a Brussels-themed knock-off of 'The Apprentice', in a Trump-inspired bid to land the European Commission presidency in 2024. Weber hopes that the exposure will convince EU leaders to say "you're hired" when the time comes.
After losing out on the Commission job to Ursula von der Leyen in 2019, #TeamManfred has schemed ever since about how to come out on top in 2024. Donald Trump's ascent to the US presidency has proved to be bigly influential.
Known as the 'reality-star commander in chief' thanks to his helming of 'The Apprentice' - successfully remade in the UK with Lord Alan Sugar (yes his real name) in the starring role - Trump's path to power will now be retrod by Manfred Weber next year.
Sources close to Weber say that "Manfred needs to show voters, EU leaders, his EPP colleagues, that he has a ruthless streak and a personality. What better way than to have him firing people on TV on a weekly basis?"
The show will reportedly see Weber looking to hire a personal aide to accompany him to the 13th floor of the Berlaymont and producers are now looking for candidates that are "motivated pro-Europeans with Brussels experience. No Brits."
Weber's foray into TV has worried the likes of Frans Timmermans and Margrethe Vestager, who may also seek to land the big job after also failing in 2019 to get Council approval to lead the Commission.
Timmermans is apparently mulling the idea of marooning himself on a dessert island in a Bear Grylls-inspired survival show. Vestager may yet star in the comeback season of 'Borgen', in what would be the most meta piece of casting ever in a political drama.
UPDATE: After going to print, Le Chou's editors realised that this point is probably entirely moot given that Spitzenkandidat is probably dead and that von der Leyen will likely get another five years if she doesn't totally botch the next three.