Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has revealed that US President Donald Trump will not be allowed to enter Scotland, pledging to erect giant nets to trap him if he tries to fly in on the sly.
Trump is reportedly looking to exit the US on successor Joe Biden's inauguration day - either to steal focus or avoid the law - and spend it cloistered at his golf resort in Scotland. But Nicola Sturgeon is having none of it, telling Le Chou that "the bawbag is nae welcome here".
"Coming to play golf is not what I would consider to be an essential purpose," the Scottish leader said, citing entry requirements in place to manage the Covid pandemic.
The White House will not confirm what Trump plans to do on 20 January but Sturgeon is not taking any chances and has instructed an airport near the president's golf course to set up giant nets to catch the miscreant.
"Let's see him try and weasel hisself out of that jam," Sturgeon added. Trump was not available for comment, although Le Chou did not bother to get in touch anyway.